More
by lost-katana
Summary: Lowered rating to K. This is just a little story that popped in my head one day. One chapter for each turtle containing the thoughts they have on each other and themselves. COMPLETE!
1. More Than a Comedian

Well, I decided to start this story first!

Basically, I'm doing a chapter on each of the guys, starting with Mikey. This will be in his point of view.

Please R&R!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't anything more valuable then a few trading cards, much less a cartoon show.

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Ya know, the more I think about it, the more I realize how well me and my brothers' masks fit our personalities.

Leo's a really loyal dude. And it's pretty obvious to everyone that he's the unofficial leader. Then there's the fact that he trains more often then any of us, including Master Splinter. But that's just as of recently. If blue doesn't fit him, I don't know what other color does. Except for green, of course.

My brother Donny's the smart one. If you ask me, purple is probably the most peaceful color I've ever seen. And that fits Don, too. I don't think I've ever heard the guy cuss or get in a fight that wasn't absolutely necessary. And I think of purple as a brainiac color anyways. Don't ask why.

As for Raph, what other color could possibly fit him better than red? Man, does he have a temper! And I got the bruises to prove it. But red isn't just a color of anger, if ya noticed. It's also a color of affection, and I know that somewhere, deep down in his heart, he cares about us. Don't tell him I said that.

My bandanna is orange. I got the brightest color of 'em all, if you don't include yellow. It's a cheerful color, too. And I'm usually pretty easy-going, not to mention the funniest mutated turtle who knows Ninjitsu that you've ever seen.

But I'm more than just a comedian. I know everyone thinks that I am, but there's more to me than you think.

I can be serious when I want to. Seriously! I really can!

Like the time when Raph got real sick when we were eight. I thought he was gonna die. I remember making some soup for him, all by myself. It was pretty good, too. I even tried to carry it to his room. Of course, by the time I got there, I had spilt over half of it.

But I'm telling, ya, I've never been so scared to lose one of my brothers than the time we were waiting for Leo to wake up after he'd been ambushed by the Foot. Do you know what it's like to sit through a three hour trip with one of your brothers beaten to a pulp? Not to mention waiting for a long time after that for him to wake up? It's pretty scary.

See? I can care about something other than comic books. Oh, did you read the last issue of the Justice Force? It was so cool!

Sorry. Anyways, there _is _more to my life. I have fears and weaknesses just like everyone else. I have my own strengths too, strengths I can use to accomplish a few dreams.

As a kid, I was always afraid of the dark. And I kinda still am. But I don't use a night-light anymore. It isn't just a little kiddie fear either.

One time, when I was really little, Raph dared me to stay out in the sewers all by myself. At nighttime. Have you ever sat in the sewers at dark? There's all these weird things that crawl around down there, things you wouldn't normally see in the day. I swear I saw a bug that had glowing red eyes. Then there's all these rats, and they're not smart rats like Master Splinter. One of 'em ate a bug that was on my leg. I was scared it'd bite me.

To make a long story short, I didn't go out at night for a _long _time.

But can do my job when I need to. Like if someone's in trouble, I'm not gonna just let them die. I can face the music when it's really important.

And I'm not that dumb! My bros always call me lamebrain, but I'm not a retard! Just because I do stupid things, it don't mean I'm stupid.

Did ya know that I was the first one to say the ABC's? I betcha thought that Donny did that first, huh? Well, he _did _do everything else first, as far as reading and counting goes. But I knew my ABC's. You can learn a lot from Sesame Street.

Besides, it's not like I go and stick metal in the microwave. I learned that that was _not _a good thing when Raph stuck some soup in the microwave once, _with _the spoon. By the way, Laffy Taffy don't work too good either.

You guys wanna know about those dreams I mentioned? Oh. Well, ya see, I don't think I wanna stay here in the sewers forever, in the dark. You probably already know about my attempts to be a superhero. I still think Turtle Titan is a good idea.

But my dreams. I want to, someday, make people understand us. In some movies, you see society except different people, like Superman and Batman. Other movies have people hating the good guys, like in X-Men.

I think the latter is the one we're stuck with. But I'm gonna fix that hopefully. I don't quite know how yet, but I will. If the Mayor can like old Shred-head, he can certainly except me!

But there's something that really bugs me, something other than the basic everyday crisis around the world. I never got why I'm considered to be the little kid of the family. I mean, I know I'm the youngest and all, but I'm the same age as my brothers.

Maybe it's 'cause Donny's way smart and Leo's so mature. I don't know. But even if I am the baby of the family, what's wrong with maintaining a little innocence? I don't know about you guys, but I haven't met all that many teenagers who fight a group of deadly ninjas on a regular basis.

But I'd still like to see someone look at me as a… well, anybody. Anybody that they don't already consider me to be. I'm not just the jokester, or the guy who's watches those old horror flicks.

I do have my own personality. I'm Michaelangelo.

Why can't anyone see that?

Is that thought _really_ so unthinkable? I don't think so, either.

I know my bros probably have their own problems to deal with, but isn't there anytime for them to notice who I am?

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Well, how'd you like?

This is a really different venue for me. It's my first story written in the first person!

Oh, and I'm really sorry if it's too short. I find it real hard to write a serious Michaelangelo, even though I think about quite a lot.

Hmmm, I think next chapter will be Donny…

Stay tuned!


	2. More Than a Genius

Ah, another chapter! This shall be most rewarding! Well… (gulps) I hope it will. I didn't realize how many Donny fans were out there…

(on knees) Please, God, don't let me fail!

Wait, I'm sure I'll be fine. I have yet to get a bad review (Don't get any ideas, people!), unless you consider pointing out spelling and grammar errors bad.

Now, let's begin the story!

Disclaimer: Well, the voices in my head are telling me that I do, but everyone else says I don't own the TMNT.

&&&&&

Once in a while, I'll just sit down and watch my brothers. We're so much alike; yet, we're all completely different.

Raphael is can be so reckless, that it's downright scary sometimes. That temper of his gets him in a lot of trouble these days; and it usually drags us along with it. But Raph is a good guy. I honestly think you can search the universe without finding someone as loyal as him. Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but it's true to some extent.

Raph's loyalty often gets forgotten though. Somewhere between his tough-guy attitude and going topside with Casey, my brothers and I tend to disregard that.

Also, Raph has shown a lot of wisdom. Really, he has. He always comes through when we need him. When Raph's gone, it's not like he's up there, slicing thugs into little people. He can show restraint and he often does. I think that's one of the reasons why he goes topside without us. Brothers can be a pain sometimes.

When you think about it, my brother Leo is a lot like Raph, in some points. Both are extremely devoted to what they value. They both can't stand being held back, though they continuously do so to each other, and neither one of them like to lose an argument. Trust me on that one. I should know. Despite their similarities, they argue, with words as well as fists, so often. I really wish they wouldn't.

Raph and Leo are also the better of the four of us when we're training. Leo has speed while Raph has strength. Mikey's naturally athletic. I guess I got skipped in that department, huh?

Anyways, my brother Leo has his own qualities as well, just like we all do. He's not completely like Raph and I'm glad he isn't. Can you imagine having _two _Raphaels around? Yikes!

Leo is, as you must already know, a natural leader. He's a remarkable swordsman, and a good listener, too. However, if he has any hobbies besides Ninjitsu, he must hide them. I don't think I've ever seen my brother do anything for his own pleasure. Then again, he really does enjoy training.

However, like Raph, there's somethings about Leo that we forget to see sometimes. We're always seeing him as critical, assertive, a perfectionist. But he really cares about us. The only reason why Leonardo acts the way he does is because he doesn't want to see us get hurt.

That's probably because he's been hurt. One of Leo's faults is that he can be too trusting. That's how we ended up getting involved with the Shredder, though I'm sure we would've gotten caught up in his web of terror eventually. After him came Karai. Despite how many times she's helped us, and vice versa, she still continues to serve the Shredder. And I think Leo feels guilty about that.

As for Mikey, what can I say? If you're in a bad mood, his cheerfulness can be contagious. Even if it doesn't fix your problem then and there, it usually helps. Unless you're like Raph, in which case it usually annoys.

And who can forget his sense of humor? Mikey's always ready with a joke or a pun. He's also always ready with a prank on one of us. I can still remember the time he put a worm in all of our drinks back when we were seven. And that's including Master Splinter. It's kinda funny now, but back then, we all wanted to pulverize him. Actually, Raph _still _wants to pulverize him.

One of the more admirable qualities of Michaelangelo is that he will take up an interest in just about anything, no matter how short that fascination may last. He asks a lot of questions about my inventions, and I don't really mind answering them. It's a good way of thinking out loud. Curiosity is one of the traits the two of us share.

But then, as I said before, Mike's a natural athlete, which _should_ make training all that easier for him. But Mikey tends to slack off sometimes. He would prefer to watch movies or read comic books.

I, however, enjoy the scientific arts. Unfortunately, that's all people usually see me as. The smart one. The resident medic.

Is that all I am? No, I don't think so. I'm more than a genius.

I have my own feelings on certain matters. For example: fighting. When you've practiced Ninjitsu all of your life, it's pretty hard to avoid it. But it doesn't stop me from trying.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm really glad that Master Splinter taught us Ninjitsu. It's reallycome in handy. Especially lately. But, it's not something I take pleasure in doing. Raph enjoys all, or most, of the battles we get in to. Then again, he's the warrior of the family. Leo says we all are, and I guess he's right. But it's just so hard to believe…

When you really think about it, there's a difference between a warrior and a fighter. A fighter is a champion; someone who enjoys a good conflict and goes out looking for one. More importantly, looking for victory. A warrior is brave. When they've entered a contest of might, they fight for survival, though they wouldn't mind letting their opponent live. They're often defined as fearless, though I know that can't be true. Everyone has fear. At least, everyone I've ever met does.

I have fears. When I was young, I was afraid of the thunder. Lightning wasn't so bad. I could _see _the lightning; but the thunder was an invisible force, ready to attack me at any time. And lightning usually stayed up on the surface, where it couldn't get to me. But thunder traveled down through the sewers to me. It wasn't until one day, when I was a little older that I figured out that the thunder occurred at the same time as lightning. Since light travels faster, it reaches us first instead of the thunder.

Oops. Sorry. Well, I guess that could be your science lesson for the day, huh? Anyways, now my fear is losing my family, it being my fault. Ever since we met the Shredder, my brothers and I have been getting hurt more and more. And since I'm the medical expert of the family, in the modern areas, it's usually my job to take care of my brothers when they get hurt. Master Splinter and April usually help, but it's still mostly my duty.

I've dealt with small things like small cuts and sprained ankles, to big things like poison and busted ribs. The things is, when you're in a medical situation, you're not supposed to let the patient or anyone else know that you're scared. It's supposed to help them.

But that's just a mask I've worn to cover my terror. It's my duty to help my brothers when they get hurt. One false move and I could set them on the course to death? Do you have any idea how frightening that is?

Maybe you do, maybe you don't. Either way, it's not something I like to think about.

So, we've covered what people see me as, the genius and medic. So, you're probably wondering what it is that I am.

I am a helper. All I've really ever wanted to do for my family, friends, and everyone else out there is to support them in any way I can. Like when Leo and Raph get angry with each other. Those two can be upset for hours after a dispute. I try to do everything I can to calm them down. Talking usually helps.

I am also a dreamer in some ways, I guess. You see, science and technology are always involving new ideas. There's so many things I could do in the future, and I have so many plans.

However, it's very unlikely that that's gonna happen anytime soon. I seriously doubt that I'll be at some great think tank in the future. Well, not as a scientist. Probably as an experiment.

That's something I never understood. The people of today thrive on differences, but only if it fits their standards. There are still people who discriminate against others, just because of how they look or think.

I wonder what they'd think of us. Not highly, of course. What a shame. My entire family is so unique, and not just in appearances. If we were like other teenagers, we'd be considered very mature for our age. Even Mikey! Honestly, how many teenagers do you see that actually _want_ to practice for hours? How many can build a submarine? How many have been to several planets out of this solar system, not to mention dimensions and time periods? Not many at all.

And the world above us, the one that doesn't live in the sewers, will never know about us. When we die, no one will remember us. It'd be as if we never existed. There's no peace, even after death. If the government were to get hold of our bodies, well, we'd no longer have bodies.

They'd look at us instead of looking at everything we've accomplished. They wouldn't see that we're a lot like them. They wouldn't see that I'm more than my intellect. They wouldn't even know how smart I am, or was.

If only mankind could get past the image of normalcy, right and wrong, that it has in mind. It doesn't matter what we look like. Someone with black skin, someone with blue eyes, a child, even a mutated turtle all have one thing in common. We all share the only color that matters, the only one that would be dangerous to see missing from our being.

My brothers and I share that color with the rest of the world. Without it, my thoughts would be non-existent and useless. What is it?

The color of life. The color of blood.

If I can't make them see that, who can? How can they see how individual we really we are?

How can they see that there is more to a turtle named Donatello than meets the eye?

&&&&&

Well, guys, I really don't think that chapter measured up to Mikey's, even though I am quite proud of it.

So, what'd ya think? Oh, I fear the reviews! (huddles in a corner) So many Donny fans… so many Donny fans…

Okay, I'm gonna go work on Dead of Night. I _just_ realized how long it's been since I updated it!

Now, when I get back to this story, who will it be on?

(silence)

Does anyone know? Oh, c'mon people! This should be easy! Fine. I'll give you a hint. If I save my favorite character for last, then the next chapter will be written from the point of view of… Raph!

I'll try to get to it soon. Hey, guess what? I just thought up _another _story! It's a one-shot. But I'm afraid to post it. Don't get me wrong, I think it's one of my best ideas, but it makes me sound like a hypocrite. Well, you'll see when I get it up, eventually. So you know, it's a tragedy.

Okay, I'm done now. I'll update soon. (clasps hands) _Please _do the same!


	3. More Than a Hothead

Jeez, I'd think you guys would be happy I was updating! According to my reviews for Suicide, you want me to update it or Dead of Night first!

But, even if this isn't everybody's favorite piece of work, it needed to be updated. And I know you like it to some extent; otherwise you wouldn't be reading it!

Everybody, I present the third chapter of More! Enjoy! I think that it could possibly qualify under the T rating.

Disclaimer: (sighs) If I make another public statement that I own the TMNT, I'll be slapped with a lawsuit. So, I don't own them… yet.

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Just 'cause ya live with someone for a few years, a lifetime even, doesn't mean ya know how they'll act in different situations. Life with my brothers is full of surprises. One minute, they're completely normal. The next, ya find out your version of normal was a long way off. Ya find out that there's a few more things goin' on in their head than ya think.

But that don't mean you can't _always _predict how they'll act. You'll still know a lot of things about the person ya grew up with. Like how they're feelin'. I know my brothers at least that much. Ya can just sense those little feelings about them. Joy. Mercy. Pain. Fear. Things like that.

Ya also get to see how _you_ feel about them.

Mikey gets on my nerves almost every day. I think he does it just for the fun of it. But humor's also his way of dealing with stress; with pain. Just like how anger results when I'm in a place like that. That's just hard to remember when he's throwin' water balloons at ya.

But Mikey's there for ya when ya need him. He's even there when ya _think _you don't need him. He's someone who can help ya get through things. Heck, he smiles and ya feel better.

Or, just makes ya wanna beat his brains out. But mostly the first thing, when you're feelin' down.

It's funny. Ya'd think _you'd _be the one that'd need to comfort _him_. And while that's how it usually works, Mikey can see when you need the same thing. And he understands- or, tries to understand.

As much as I can't stand him sometimes, he's still my brother. I can't hate any of my brothers.

Donny's a great guy. As far as temperament goes, he's completely opposite from me. He's the peaceful one. He won't fight unless he needs to. It's not that he can't; he does all the time. It's impossible not to with what we do. But Don can see that problems don't always have to be solved with fists. And I think he wishes that things would never have to be solved that way at all.

Then, who can forget, Donny's also the smart one out of us. All of his little gadgets come in a lot of handy. Not to mention the big stuff.

Ah, gotta love that Shell Cycle.

Anyways, he has other areas of expertise in combat. Like when Leo has a massive case of brain fade, when he does some of the stupidest things imaginable, Don can get us out of it. I don't thank him enough.

All right, I guess I don't give enough credit to Leo sometimes either. I mean, he's gotten us out of a lot of bad situations too, despite the fact that he's gotten us into some of those places we have to fight out of as well.

And we need him. Not just 'cause he's a natural leader or a warrior, but because of his strength. Leo won't give up; he doesn't know how. He may _think_ about it, he may come dangerously close to doing so, but he never does. Guilt eats away at his soul constantly.

I fight with him too much. It's hard not to. We want the same things, mostly, but we just have different ideas of how that works. Our personalities clash too much. Leo has anger; ya just don't see it too often. That's one of the bigger differences between us. I let it out like exhaled air. He'll hold it in until he can't breathe. But it comes out, sometimes with more force than my own. And then he'll just breathe it back in. Leo lets it kill him from the inside, for reasons I still can't understand.

But then, as you must know, his anger is nothin' compared to mine. That's my most memorable trait, right? I'm the guy that goes off and beats thugs into a living pulp. First of all, they deserve it. But I gotta admit, it's a helluva lot of fun.

Yeah, that's me. But I'm more than a hothead.

I'm disciplined… to some extent. I fight with just as much honor as the rest of my brothers. Sure, a little more violently sometimes, but just as fair. Any death that results from my hands was made for a just reason. I don't kill people for the fun of it. I have that much restraint. I ain't a mass murderer; I respect life.

Actually, with the exception of maybe Mikey, I think I'm the one that values life the most. While Leo will fight to the death for practically every person in a jam, he's careless with his own life. Don values others above himself too, but not to the extent that Leo takes it.

I'll fight for others too; I ain't heartless. But I have a different outlook on my existence. My life isn't just about fighting or doing the right thing. I'm gonna make the best of it while I still have it. The chances are very high that I might not be around all to much longer, with all the freakin' assholes we have to deal with these days. I want to go out knowing I accomplished a few things I set out to do for myself.

After all, life is for the living soul. If I just do what I'm told all the time; what makes me any different than Donny's remote-controlled gizmos?

No, I'm gonna do what I want, even if my bros don't share my enthusiasm. Their lives belong to them while mine belongs to me.

Now don't get me wrong. I really care about my brothers. They're practically all I got in this world. While I wouldn't abandon them or do anything that would hurt them, they aren't my whole life. I'll always be there for 'em.

But when I get the chance, I'm gonna live my life the way it was meant to be. There's some things that are out there just for me.

Everybody gots their own dreams, fears, chances. Naturally, I got a few of my own.

So we can set the record straight, I am _not _afraid of bugs. Ugh, nasty little critters. I hate 'em, but I ain't scared of 'em; with their damn multiple body parts, and annoyin' wings…

Man, I hate bugs.

Anyways, as for what I want to do with my life, well, there really ain't much I can do. Most people my age are thinkin' about their future, like their careers and shit.

I don't get that chance.

Remember what I said about dyin'? When I do, no one's gonna remember me. We protect this damn city and we don't even get a damn thank-you.

'Cause we're freaks.

I was the first one out of my brothers to know that we were different. And that doesn't even involve my trips to the surface when we were kids. Ya just watch TV for a while and ya start to see things.

Yeah, never did see another mutant turtle. You'd see these little kid shows with the talkin' animals, but ya never saw anything like us.

Somehow, my brain made the connection. We're freaks, and no one's ever gonna except us.

And that really pisses me off.

I mean, we breathe the same air as the rest of the planet; take in the same pollution. We understand the same things that any person does. Heck, Donny understands more than the average person does. By now, we've done more for this city, even for the world, then most people are ever gonna do in their lives.

And it's not just that they'd never except us, they'll never even know who we are. Some people complain about being just a face in the crowd. We don't even get that.

I guess we're like the wind. What we do impacts the world, but they can't see us. Maybe I shouldn't be complainin', but it still don't seem right.

I want the chance to walk down a street without wonderin' if people are comin'. And I wanna keep on walkin'; get out of this place. Just… go. Somewhere. I'd come back. Maybe not right away, but I would.

I'm the one that needs to get away. I can't stand bein' stuck here. Stuck with dreams that'll never come true. Ya probably have had the same feelin' before.

If I stay here, it won't do anybody a bit of good. Obviously, I can lose my temper quickly, and I'll lose it with my family if I'm kept here for too much longer. Goin' up topside with Casey can only work so long.

But who knows if I'd be able to actually do anything when I'm gone. New York City's actually a bit more promising when ya think about it. It's bigger and no one looks up. I go somewhere else, and I'm bound to be spotted.

Even if, somehow, I was able to keep hidden for a while. Somewhere, down the line, I'd lose my temper; draw attention to myself.

Then I'd be back where I'd started. At least with my bros, I know that they can see there's more to me than my temper. Well, I hope so anyways.

And they can see me; they _have _seen me. Maybe I'd be better off stickin' around. I mean, that's really my point. I want people to see more than my appearance and my temper. Wherever I go, that's not gonna happen.

At least here, people see the Raphael without his temper. At least people see me. Can't say that for the rest of the damn world.

&&&&&

Only one more chapter to go and then I'm done with this story! Yay!

Hmm… I need to start thinkin' up more ideas! I'm runnin' low! Yikes!

Well, this chapter was definitely not my best work. I think I got a little sidetracked. However, I don't think it was that bad. (sighs) Watch this. The minute I show more confidence, I'll be proven wrong. Oh, the irony!

Sorry it took so long to get it up. Would've been up last week, but I was busy puking my guts out. And wouldn't it figure, five of ya decide to update when I'm sick; after I waited a week with only one update!

Oh well. I have work to do. (crumples up paper) No, that's a dumb idea. (back to readers) Anyways, see ya! Please review!

Oh! Wait! I got a game to play! Ya don't have to play if you don't want to. Don't know why I'm puttin' it up, really. Must be the Captain Crunch at four in the morning. Anyways, I've been mentioning fears in every chapter. So, who wants to guess _my _greatest fear?

Three hints. 1) I've never mentioned it in any of my stories. 2) It's an unusual fear. I've never met any one who shares it with me. And 3) An old, black-and-white episode of The Twilight Zone reinforced it a few years ago.

That should be good enough. Now I won't be surprised if you get it, but I won't be shocked if you don't. Whoever can get it will get…I don't know. I'll figure out something. Maybe a reasonable request, or something like that.

Answer will be revealed next chapter! Well, whenever it is that I can get it up.

See ya!


	4. More than a Leader

(on knees begging for forgiveness) I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Forgive me, dearest readers! I never meant to leave you hanging for four months! I didn't really even know it'd been that long.

For one, this is the last chapter, one which I've been worried sick about. Since Leo is my fave, I know people are expecting more from his chapter. But alas! It must be done!

Since are beloved shout-outs are gone, I'd just like to briefly thank everyone who's reviewed for this story and may in the future.

First, I'd like to thank **pacphys**, **Katana-Babe**, **Chibi Rose Angel**, **The REAL Cheese Monkey**, **BlueRaven **and **BubblyShell22** for reviewing every single chapter I've put up so far.

Next, I'd like to thank **Darktiger2, kikiyophoenix19**, **Rene**, **Ghost-girl-13**, **Sassyblondexoxo**, **Raph.A.leon**, **red turtle**, **Ramica**, **eldarsevenstar** (a.k.a. **alex**), **stocktonwood**, **Star Ninja**, **Kellie Fay**, **Lunar-ninja**, **Jaganashi**, **Inumaru12**, **The Sacred Heart 2 **and **evangelina**, who also reviewed.

All in all, More came up with 23 reviewers! Not bad.

Now for the contest. Nobody won. The closest person I believe was Chibi Rose Angel. I'm not afraid of heights, but I am a little uncomfortable flying in big planes. If it was a jet or something, I wouldn't have a problem.

But I suppose you guys are now really curious what my fear really is. (covers eyes) You guys are _so_ gonna laugh at me, I know it. Well, let's review the clues.

I've never mentioned it in any of my stories. **Therefore, it's not bugs, thunder, fire, the dark, guns, or heights.**

It's an unusual fear. I've never met any one who shares it with me. **Nothing like fear of speaking in public, death, or falling. In fact, it's a child's plaything.**

An old, black-and-white episode of The Twilight Zone reinforced it a few years ago. **The episode was the one with Talking Tina.**

Now with that last one I'm sure you must've figured it out by now. My greatest fear in the world is… dolls. Seriously, they scare the crap out of me. I don't have a problem when they're made of paper or cloth, and action figures don't bother me, but things like glass and Barbie dolls just give me the shivers.

(frowns) I know that somewhere out there _someone_ is laughing at me.

Well, I suppose I should get on with the story, huh? Once again, please for give me for taking so long. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own the TMNT, for if I did, I fear that a few episodes would never be finished.

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When you meet a person, you notice certain tendencies, qualities, and weaknesses they may have. At that point, you can't really say you _know_ them; you're just acquainted. It isn't until you're around them more; until you _expect_ those things of them, that you truly understand them.

It's a useful gift in a fight. Not only can you use it to your understanding of an enemy; it can be used to throw them off. If they're good enough, you can bet they're anticipating some tricks out of you as well. In some cases, it's best to do the unexpected.

However, this sixth sense is even more valuable to me among loved ones, especially the ones I've grown up with. I use it a lot with my brothers. Most of the time, it's just for that familial bond, noting how they're feeling and acting. But all too often, understanding those same things I use to get to know them better, I have to use it to protect them.

I feel stupid every time I think about it like that. Sure, they make mistakes; I do too. But they don't need my protection. We've been able to defend ourselves and then some since we were twelve.

And not just with Ninjitsu. My brothers have skills beyond that. I admire them for those talents to levels they'll never know, for I could never explain it correctly even if I tried.

Donny's smarter than I'll ever be. And not merely his with engineering and science proficiency. He understands that you don't always have to fight to win a battle. Don has always looked for the solution involving more calculations than lives.

Then again, just because he's the most peaceful of the four of us, doesn't mean he can't get frustrated. Donny knows how much we depend on him, especially in a tight jam. Sometimes, it doesn't look like it, but that's when you have to look closer. I've seen him lock himself up in his lab for days at a time when he can't figure something out. But he does in the end. Always. Don's never let me down.

Now what do I say about Mikey? It may seem like a surprise, but he needs less training than the rest of us in Ninjitsu. Naturally athletic, all he requires is a few demonstrations to get a new move right. Unfortunately, his mind doesn't always work like that. What keeps him to par with us is the fact that he's easily distracted sometimes, therefore not always keeping up with his training.

But he also recognizes that fighting isn't the only thing in the world. Mikey's a happy guy. His world is full of superheroes, music, television; basically, anything he can entertain himself with. Honestly, I think that if we were ordinary, human teenagers, Mikey would be the most normal of all of us. His smile and laughter is contagious. And he knows it full well too. I think he considers it his job to cheer us up; a job he performs well most of the time.

My brother Raph is the exact opposite. At times, I think he considers it _his_ job to tick me off. Notwithstanding, he's one of the few who can do it. How so, I may never know. For some people, if they knew a person like Raph, it'd be hard to say some nice things about him. Then again, if that were the case, the person wouldn't really _know_ him that well after all. After you get his temper out of the picture, a difficult task at times, you're left with a lot of decent qualities.

He's reliable; always there when you need him. Raph likes going into fights alone sometimes, but you better bet that he's not about to let you do the same. I do that too. I guess we just have a little too much confidence in our abilities at times. Raph's also smarter than me, in some respects. Not once did he ever trust the Shredder. Didn't trust Karai either.

Want to guess who did?

Both times, I was wrong. With Shredder it was more obvious. It took me a little longer with Karai, though. But Raph knew all along.

And despite being the leader, the one whose _supposed_ to know those types of things, I didn't.

What's the point of training myself to lead, taking no time to just relax, if I'm not going to do it right? Sometimes, I think I'm getting worn out of this role. Once in a while, I'll look at myself like they do. But I can't see what they see. I don't see a leader; I see flesh and blood, a person who is bound to make mistakes.

What makes a leader anyways? Courage can't just be it; my brothers are just as brave as I am. I'm a strategist, but they could probably do that as well. And experience can't be it either, at least in this case. We've pretty much been in the same dilemmas.

Come to think of it, they have all the things needed to lead. Maybe not in the same doses, but together, they're perfect. So how did I end up in this spot?

I'm the one who has to be levelheaded in all situations. That's really been getting to me lately. I may be mature for my age, but even a mature person deals with anger. There are times when I've wanted to switch places with Raph, just go out and let everything loose. And Mikey; how he still, despite all the crap we deal with, has been able to keep that child-like innocence. I'd still like to be depended on in some situations, like Don is. But at least he has freedom.

All those things I said about my brothers? I envy them for it sometimes. They can _live_. Really, truly live. My job is to make sure they stay that way, in mind as well as body.

As the leader, I'm willing to fall.

I'm no longer afraid of getting hurt. Like my fear of heights as a boy, I was able to conquer it in time. Sure, I still feel like I've gotten the crap kicked out of me when it happens, but if I have to suffer a few beatings to keep someone from getting killed, I don't mind. My fear has progressed from a paralyzing fear of heights to a heart-stopping fear of letting them down. I make mistakes, and when I do, there's a greater chance that they'll pay the price for them instead of me.

Failure is not an option. Perfection, as far-fetched as it seems, is a requirement. It's slowly killing me from the inside, but it must be done. Even if no one actually understands but me.

Maybe that's the stuff you look for in a leader; the sacrifices they make.

But I'm more than a leader. I'm a brother.

That I _can_ define. A _good_ brother is someone who cares genuinely about their sibling, and not just because they're related. Someone you grow up with.

My life isn't about defending the people who'll never know I'm alive, nor is it for a type of thrill. It's for them; I live my life for them.

If there's anything whatsoever that's leftover of me from that job; from those shoes I have to fill, what remains is the love I have of and for my brothers.

I don't think they see it often though. The title 'fearless leader' is proof enough, I think. But I'm still their brother. Why else would I fight with them so much? I wonder if that's why it always seem like I'm the oldest. I'm so protective of them.

They're truly… my little brothers. We may have been through everything together, more or less, but they still seem younger, like they still have that purity to them that you eventually grow out of. A piece of life I was neglected.

Even when I was little, I didn't have that kind of spark to me. I was focused, obsessed with getting done what needed to be done. While they were having fun, I was training harder. It was the one thing I could be good at. I never realized what I was missing out on.

There've been times when all I've wanted to do is return to that state where they live in. I want to be like them, instead of so uptight. Granted, I hang out with them every now and then, as a way to stay close to them: throwing water balloons; watching movies. But it's all a lie in the end. They have something between the three of them that I don't. I guess I'm just more suited keeping them safe.

And _that's_ where Leonardo the Leader steps in.

I've had nightmares ever since I was a young child. You wouldn't believe all of the different ways I've discovered that I could lose them. I couldn't live without my brothers. If they were ever in such a situation, I would die each and every death I've dreamt they suffered a million times if it would keep them alive.

And for some reason, I don't know why, I can't do that without being the leader. But they don't want a leader around all the time. And they don't know me as well as their brother. I don't show it enough, no matter how hard I try.

I've failed as both several times, but I'll do my best to keep that from happening again. I can't fail at this task. If they're in danger, I'll protect them. If they're just sick, I'll drop everything and take care of them.

Even though it's getting to me, driving me insane at times, I'll be there.

Leader or brother, I'll always be there.

&&&&&

Wow. That chapter was harder to write than I thought it'd be, but I like it.

And the good new is: Another story done! Hallelujah!

So how'd you like? I hope you enjoyed! (frowns) The _story_, not the fact that I'm afraid of dolls!

(cringes) I had to go to an allergy specialist today. Get this: I'm allergic to 24 different things! (sarcastically) Yahoo. More medication.

But you guys can cheer my up by reviewing! See ya!

Pi90katana


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